I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
