And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
