if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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