It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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