marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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