i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
try to milk me bitch
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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