I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Randomize
