Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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