and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
