I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
