what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
