Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
