Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
