did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
