That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
