Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
