oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
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