marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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