i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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