He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
