Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
