Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
two words: eviction party
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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