ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
