When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
