we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
