Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
