You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
