Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
