i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
