my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
