his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
not ubering you a puppy
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
