Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
