id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
