i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
