Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
