i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
