She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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