direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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