I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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