then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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