my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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