oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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