You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
