I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
