Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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