I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
