So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
