I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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