But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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