I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
