Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
