He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
