So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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