I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
