You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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