was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
