I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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